First off I am sorry I didn't get a chance to post yesterday but yesterday was a really rough day. My dad has been sick so I've been trying to help out more, keeping my sister in line since my mom is in the middle of a relapse, and we found out that my mom's dog who was sick isn't just sick but riddled with tumors in his heart his lungs and only has about a month left to live. It was a very stressful day.
My dad has always been the very stoic Norwegian type. Doesn't like to have people get in his personal space, is always fine ( even if he's got blood spurting out from a massive head trauma ), very hard headed, and he doesn't cry. I have seen him cry only a few times in is entire life and most of those were when an animal has passed away in our family. But, yesterday yesterday was something I had never seen before. He apparently was crying so hard the vet had to call the dog's breeder ( who has been very involved in his life ). It really shook me.
It shook me because here was this strong man showing such emotion and I couldn't even cry! Everyone always says how much my dad and I are alike. I'm daddy's girl all the way. I never cry at movies, and I hate people touching me. But, I felt like the worlds coldest bitch when I was the only one in my family who didn't cry. So last night I was dreaming my usual pain nightmares ( I don't get much deep sleep and when I do I have pain dreams where I am somehow being tortured or run over something to make the pain seep through into my dream ) and I started dreaming about my mom's dog being ripped away from us. I didn't even realize I was crying until I woke myself up from nose being so plugged up I had been crying so hard. It was as if my dream gave me the release I needed to.
Sorry things have been such a downer lately in my posts. Promise it will cheer up soon. Thank you all so much for sticking with me!