Friends

  Friends and friendships are so important when you are going through a rough time. I have always been an introvert, always the shy kid, never spoke up in class.  So making friends was always a challenge for me.  When I first became disabled I had several friends.  Friends from work, friends from my previous workplace, even friends across the country!  Slowly, they started fading from my life.  I only have 2 friends left after all was said and done.
  Then I slowly started making new friends.  Mostly through the Church, a couple were my mom's friends.  I enjoyed spending time with them, although it was different.  I could no longer be gone all day, my stamina was only a few hours at most.  It was fun for awhile, I was going out for outings 2 sometimes 3 times a week.  Then one by one they started to get too busy too.  There was one woman who has hung around and she has been an amazing friend!  Even though she's in her 80's she has way more energy and stamina than I do.
  Then I met a new friend through a new church.  She stayed with us when she broke her femur.  She stayed with us because her family is back east and her apartment was on the second floor.  We became really close.  And now she's done with school.  She got a job offer out of the area and took it.  So, now I have to say good by to another friend.  It is just so hard to keep losing friends.  I have enough loss in my life.  I've lost: my health, my future, my body looking the way I want it to, my ability to function on my own, even my intelligence.  Losing friends is just the final straw.  I feel like I have done something, which in some cases is not the truth but I still can't help feeling insecure.  I just hate all the loss.