Today I feel like throwing myself a pity party. I mean everyone deserves one every now and then. I'm just tired of all of it!
I'm so mad that I have spent the adult half of my life disabled and in pain and alone! Will I ever meet anyone? I mean at my age my lifelong dream of having children is over. But, will I find someone? Will I ever be functioning again? Will I have a body that works? A body that looks like I want it to? Not some misshapen lump of ugliness and pain. Can I ever look at this time and not want to cry and tear my hair out? All time is now is before RSD and after. Watching everything around me change and grow and yet I stay the same! Will I ever meet new friends? Friends who don't leave when things get hard.
Okay, so there's my pity party rant. I do want to say that I have many many good things in my life for which I am truly grateful and appreciative for. I have a wonderful family, a loyal companion who has truly been instrumental in keeping me sane(my dog), some new friends, good Dr's and God. I have grown a lot over these years. But, today I'm just in need of a good rant to the universe.
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